Momma, what happened to the neighborhood?

by Ryan Lundquist on August 12, 2008 · 11 comments

Community Building Series Part I

One of the constant themes that Home Depot commercials hit on is the idea of building the ultimate backyard. Have you seen these ones? A family turns their typical rear plot of land into a haven full of Trex decking, bright flowers and fresh sod, with a gleaming stainless steel grill to bring it all together. The concept is to create a space to relax—a refuge from the rest of the world and a post-5pm retreat after a tiring day.

I’ll admit that these ads strike me in two ways. One, I want that backyard. But Two, on a deeper level I wonder if there is something here for us to consider. Has our culture become used to a world where we spend the bulk of our time confined to our parcel lines while having little meaningful interaction with our neighbors?

There used to be a day and time in our culture where kids played outside more often, where families knew and relied upon households next door, and where it was a norm to feel a sense of connectedness amongst neighbors. In thinking back to when you were a kid, did life in your neighborhood seem a bit more interactive and relational than your experience today? Did people trust each other more readily? Did passersby wave? Did you play outside without worrying about Megan’s Law registrants? Were your parents able to let you roam around a little more?

Let’s face it, after the commute home from work it’s easy to find ourselves so tired and busy that the concept of getting to know our neighbors seems unrealistic, impractical or even inconvenient. So we get home from work, shut the garage door quickly in order to avoid others, stay behind our fences, and then turn on one of our screens in order to zone out. Sure, privacy is essential to a healthy lifestyle, but if life’s standard posture is to have very limited interaction with neighbors, then our communities will suffer.

What happened to our neighborhoods?

Part II: Finding Treasure in the Front Yard (coming next week)

Similar Posts:

June 18, 2009 – Sharing and Connecting to Build Community Neighbor to Neighbor
June 30, 2009 – A 4th of July the Kids Can Love
June 26, 2009 – 1st Annual City Softball Tournament for Rancho Cordova Teams Announced
June 19, 2009 – Anatolia Neighborhood BBQ – June 20th
June 22, 2009 – Anatolia HOA Again Fails to Meet Quorum Requirement for Election of Delegates

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Anonymous: August 13, 2008 at 9:01 am

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← Previous Comments

1 Cory L August 13, 2008 at 7:31 am: Interesting thoughts, Ryan. I’ll look forward to hearing more about what treasures there are to find in the front yard in your next article. Thank you.
2 Geoffrey Sakala August 13, 2008 at 7:42 am: I always try to waive at everyone in my neighborhood when walking and driving. I think it may also be a factor of the society we live in today. The are so many distractions through all of our screens and media outlets, that we would rather connect remotely than in person.
3 s hinton August 13, 2008 at 8:15 am: Great article Ryan. The dream or goal there kind of reminds me of the first Christian Church 2000 years ago back in Acts 2. Kind of reminds me of what the Christian church can be today.
4 Nancy W August 13, 2008 at 10:01 am: I grew up in the time when everyone was outside playing together and the parents all hung out too. Now, I’m sorry to say, I don’t know many of my neighbors well at all. This article and the ones to come may serve as the wake up call we all need…..
5 H R August 13, 2008 at 11:06 am: I think there is also an issue with safety. Years ago, sexual predators were not as big of a fear as they are today. I would not let my kids play in the front yard unattended. I would not let the neighbors supervise them unless I knew them VERY well.
6 Lisa Allen August 13, 2008 at 12:57 pm: I totally agree. I have great memories of my childhood out front playing with the neighbor kids. And I live back in the same house now as a kid and don’t barely know any of my neighbors. I don’t take the time to really talk with them that much due to always being tired and busy. So sad! I would love to have the kind off relationships that my parents had with their neighbors, but I need be able to make the sacrifice of my time to do it.
7 Ryan Lundquist August 13, 2008 at 4:00 pm: Thanks for all the comments everyone. Many good points. The safety concern that “H R” mentioned is surely important and for the record I do not let my 2 and 4 year olds play in the front unattended. But beyond that, why is it that as a culture we have generally let ourselves slip into a lifestyle that stays isolated from people? If we experienced deeper community when we were kids, then what happened between then and now to stop or hault that experience?
8 Michael D August 13, 2008 at 4:42 pm: I have lived in the area 37 years and the times have changed. My mother let us(all three) have the run of the neighborhood and I notice major changes why parents dont anymore. Safety is the major one not only are people not looking out for each like in the past most of the streets have people driving to fast on streets that were not designed to flow that much traffic.
When I was young we were out making friends everyday and if you didnt make friends the other kids thought you were a freak ….somwhere along the years that has turned the other way.
9 Ann August 13, 2008 at 7:08 pm: Ryan,

I couldn’t agree more! I wholly agree with your summary statement, “If life’s standard posture is to have very limited interaction with neighbors, then our communities will suffer.”

Looking forward to the next article
10 Steve August 13, 2008 at 9:24 pm: We have been fortunate enough to live across the street from a park. It has been a great place to hang out and meet other parents in a non threatening environment. We have made some really great friends and have found a sense of connection with many of our neighbors. The thing that is profound about meeting people at the park is that we get to see each other on a regular basis and get to know each other in a slow fashion – building trust. Its not like you can just put on a big smile, go knock on your neighbors door and say, “want to be my friend?” They’ll think your crazy! It takes time. So for others who don’t live across the street from a park – maybe there is another way to meet your neighbors in a non-thretening way. We have also met many of our other neighbors who don’t hang out at the park. Here are some suggestions to open up relationships with your neighbors that have worked for us: on trash day bring in your neighbors trash cans before they get home from work, bring them some baked goods, mow their lawn when you mow yours (it only takes a few extra minutes), when their kids leave toys like bicycles on the sidewalk or lawn – take them up to their front porch so they don’t get stolen or damaged. It really just takes a willingness to engage and patients for things to develop. Sometimes people seem really put off when you do them a favor. I had a new neighbor years ago that I had not yet met who was attempting to unload a very heavy item out of his truck. So I seized the opportunity to run over and offer my help. He awkwardly declined. I could allowed myself to be angry but instead I just blew it off and remained patient for walls to break down. We are now the best of friends.